9/1(Tue) Six Great Reasons to Never Have Children(H:Wendy)
由 Michael-liu » 週六 8月 29, 2015 12:07 am
注意事項：
1. 與會者請自行列印 Questions for discussion。
Six Great Reasons to Never Have Children
by Ellen Walker Ph.D. ( who is a clinical psychologist and the author of Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living By Choice Or By Chance.)
Most of us childfree adults are used to being asked why we didn’t have kids, but have you ever asked a parent to explain why he or she did? It’s simply not considered polite. As I’ve contemplated writing this blog over the past few days, I actually considered coming right out to parents with the question, but then I realized just how personal and intrusive it would be. Plus, I might be given some of the reasons described below, which in my personal and professional opinion are not legitimate reasons for having a child. Take a look below to see my list of great reasons to not have a child.
I want to have a constant companion: Children are not a means to friendship. I’ve met too many kids whose parents are lonely or otherwise struggling as well as parents who’ve used their child as a sounding board and companion. Children need to have a parent figure that is focused on giving them the tools they will need as an adult rather than someone who’s seeking a playmate or talk therapist.
I want to continue the bloodline/name: Who do these folks think they are to imagine that somehow their genes are so superior that we need to keep them around. If we as a society were to decide that only the brightest and best should survive (as Hitler did), we’d likely not be choosing the folks who make these kinds of insane comments. And regarding names, most women lose their maiden name at marriage and don’t get a bit of sympathy for their loss.
I might get pregnant by accident: Over half of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned, a figure that’s astounding considering the access to birth control these days. Getting pregnant with no thought of how this will impact the child is one of the most selfish acts a person can take. These parents are bringing a child into the world with less than a year to ensure that their environment will be emotionally, situationally, and financially stable. We typically spend more time deciding if and where we’ll go to college, what we’ll do for a career, and if we should marry a particular person we’re dating.
I think it will improve my marriage: Wrong, wrong, wrong—marital satisfaction rates actually plummet after the birth of the first child. So, if a couple has the idea that a baby will bring them closer, think again. A child results in less sleep, less sex, less time for the couple to spend together, less money, and less time for friends and hobbies.
It’s what everyone else is doing (or that’s what you do after you grow up. It’s a natural part of being an adult): If all your friends were jumping off of a cliff, would you join along? The decision of whether or not to have a child is the most important one of our life, and thus parenthood shouldn’t be entered into casually. As with other big life decisions, such as whether or not to continue with school following high school, the path most often taken is not the one for everyone.
So, given all the reasons to not have a child, what are legitimate reasons to have a child? Perhaps the only valid reason to become a parent is that a person truly enjoys nurturing and mentoring and views the huge task and responsibility of being a mother or father to be something that will give them joy and that they feel they will do well with. If all parents who chose childrearing did so with this outlook, then those of us who chose to not have kids would have a much more supportive attitude towards them.
Session 1
1. Have your parents ever given you the pressure of having children? If yes, what was your response to your parents?
2. If you want to have children (or you have already), what are your reasons to have? If you don't want to, what are your reasons not to have?
3. In addition to the reasons mentioned in the article, what other good reasons can you think of for not having kids?
Session 2
1. Have your parents ever said something like this to you " I have spent all my life and much money on bringing you up, I have sacrificed a lot for you, so you should do...........for me" Is it sensible for parents to say that to children? What would you respond to them?
2. Almost all of parents would expect something from their kids. ( to name a few, expect kids to be successful,to be good-looking, to be obedient, to be 孝順, to keep them company when they are old) If you have kids, what will be your expectation to them? (be honest, don't say just want them to be healthy)
********************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期：列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間：當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期二聚會地點：丹堤濟南店
地址、電話：台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站：板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法：出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後，沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘，到了濟南路口，左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費： 80 元
注意事項：
1. 與會者請自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請務必先看過文章，並仔細想過所有的問題，謝謝合作！
給新朋友的話：
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹；會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題，並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行，參加者應具備中等英語會話能力，對任一討論問題，能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前，可以先來觀摩三次，觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
1. 與會者請自行列印 Questions for discussion。
Six Great Reasons to Never Have Children
by Ellen Walker Ph.D. ( who is a clinical psychologist and the author of Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living By Choice Or By Chance.)
Most of us childfree adults are used to being asked why we didn’t have kids, but have you ever asked a parent to explain why he or she did? It’s simply not considered polite. As I’ve contemplated writing this blog over the past few days, I actually considered coming right out to parents with the question, but then I realized just how personal and intrusive it would be. Plus, I might be given some of the reasons described below, which in my personal and professional opinion are not legitimate reasons for having a child. Take a look below to see my list of great reasons to not have a child.
I want to have a constant companion: Children are not a means to friendship. I’ve met too many kids whose parents are lonely or otherwise struggling as well as parents who’ve used their child as a sounding board and companion. Children need to have a parent figure that is focused on giving them the tools they will need as an adult rather than someone who’s seeking a playmate or talk therapist.
I want to continue the bloodline/name: Who do these folks think they are to imagine that somehow their genes are so superior that we need to keep them around. If we as a society were to decide that only the brightest and best should survive (as Hitler did), we’d likely not be choosing the folks who make these kinds of insane comments. And regarding names, most women lose their maiden name at marriage and don’t get a bit of sympathy for their loss.
I might get pregnant by accident: Over half of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned, a figure that’s astounding considering the access to birth control these days. Getting pregnant with no thought of how this will impact the child is one of the most selfish acts a person can take. These parents are bringing a child into the world with less than a year to ensure that their environment will be emotionally, situationally, and financially stable. We typically spend more time deciding if and where we’ll go to college, what we’ll do for a career, and if we should marry a particular person we’re dating.
I think it will improve my marriage: Wrong, wrong, wrong—marital satisfaction rates actually plummet after the birth of the first child. So, if a couple has the idea that a baby will bring them closer, think again. A child results in less sleep, less sex, less time for the couple to spend together, less money, and less time for friends and hobbies.
It’s what everyone else is doing (or that’s what you do after you grow up. It’s a natural part of being an adult): If all your friends were jumping off of a cliff, would you join along? The decision of whether or not to have a child is the most important one of our life, and thus parenthood shouldn’t be entered into casually. As with other big life decisions, such as whether or not to continue with school following high school, the path most often taken is not the one for everyone.
So, given all the reasons to not have a child, what are legitimate reasons to have a child? Perhaps the only valid reason to become a parent is that a person truly enjoys nurturing and mentoring and views the huge task and responsibility of being a mother or father to be something that will give them joy and that they feel they will do well with. If all parents who chose childrearing did so with this outlook, then those of us who chose to not have kids would have a much more supportive attitude towards them.
Session 1
1. Have your parents ever given you the pressure of having children? If yes, what was your response to your parents?
2. If you want to have children (or you have already), what are your reasons to have? If you don't want to, what are your reasons not to have?
3. In addition to the reasons mentioned in the article, what other good reasons can you think of for not having kids?
Session 2
1. Have your parents ever said something like this to you " I have spent all my life and much money on bringing you up, I have sacrificed a lot for you, so you should do...........for me" Is it sensible for parents to say that to children? What would you respond to them?
2. Almost all of parents would expect something from their kids. ( to name a few, expect kids to be successful,to be good-looking, to be obedient, to be 孝順, to keep them company when they are old) If you have kids, what will be your expectation to them? (be honest, don't say just want them to be healthy)
********************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期：列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間：當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期二聚會地點：丹堤濟南店
地址、電話：台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站：板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法：出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後，沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘，到了濟南路口，左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費： 80 元
注意事項：
1. 與會者請自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請務必先看過文章，並仔細想過所有的問題，謝謝合作！
給新朋友的話：
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹；會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題，並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行，參加者應具備中等英語會話能力，對任一討論問題，能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前，可以先來觀摩三次，觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
